yugi: April 2008

BANNED MTV AD

http://yugendar.blogspot.com

Santa and Banta were both patients in a Mental hospital.

One day, Santa suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool.

Banta jumped in and saved him, and the medical director came to know of his heroic act..

He immediately order Banta to be discharged from the Mental Hospital as he is OK.

Doctor: We have good news and bad news for you, Banta.

The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your senses, since you are able to jump in and save another patient, you are now a normal person.

The bad news is that, the patient Mr. Santa, whom you
have saved, hung himself in the toilet, and died..

Banta: Doctor, he didn't hang himself. I hung him there to dry..!!

NICE IDEAS

Five cannibals (Man eaters) get appointed as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees".

The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees.

Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our developers has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?"

The cannibals disown all knowledge of the missing developer. After the boss left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: " Which of you idiots ate the developer?"

One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You FOOL ! For four weeks we've been eating team leaders, managers, and project managers and no-one has noticed anything, and now YOU ate one developer and it got noticed. So hereafter please don't eat a person who is working ."

Silly and funny!

Q: What did the lonely banana say?
A: I'm a"kela".

Q: What did the green peas say?
A: Nothing. They just "mutter"Ed.

Q: What did the potato say when it answered the phone ?
A: "Aaloo? "

Q: Where do cauliflowers hang out?
A: In the Gobi desert.

Q: What did the flower say to its girl-friend?
A: Why do "phools" fall in love?

Q: What did the fat car say?
A: I`m a "mota"car.

Q: What did the confused egg say?
A: I don't "unda"-stand.

Q: What do shrimps sing on Christmas?
A: "Jhinga" Bells.

Q: What did the half eaten naan say?
A: I wish I was "puri".

Q: What did the lonely potato sing?
A: "Aaloo lonesome tonight?"

Q: What language do carrots speak?
A: Gajar-ati.

Q: What do you call an almost bald poet?
A: I-bal.

Dis ij DA funkiest...
Q: What did the first pizza slice say to the other pizza slice so it would move?
A: Pizza - "HUT"

CUTE LOVE STORY-

A BOY HAD CANCER AND HE HAD ONE MONTH TO LIVE.

HE LIKED A GIRL WORKING IN A CD SHOP VERY MUCH.

BUT HE DID NOT TOLD HER ABOUT HIS LUV.

EVERYDAY HE WENT TO THE CD SHOP

AND BOUGHT A CD ONLY TO TALK TO HER.

AFTER A MONTH HE DIED.

WHEN THE GIRL WENT HIS HOME AND ASKED ABOUT HIM,

HIS MOM TOLD THAT HE DIED AND TOOK HER TO HIS ROOM

SHE SAW ALL THE CD'S UNOPENED ............ ...

THE GIRL CRIED N CRIED N FINALLY DIED.

YOU KNOW Y SHE CRIED?

ÇOZ SHE HAD KEPT HER OWN LUV LETTERS INSIDE THE CD PACKS.

SHE ALSO LUVED HIM......... ....

moral of the story: if u love someone..... .

say to him directly don't wait for the destiny to play the role..

if u love someone whole heartedly then pass this message to every one

How Poor We Are..

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?" "It was great, Dad." "Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked. "Oh Yeah" said the
son. "So what did you
learn from the trip?" asked the father. The son answered,

"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us - they have friends to protect them. "

With this the boy's father was speechless. Then his son added, "Thanks, dad, for showing me how poor we are."

Love marriage Vs Arranged Marriage

Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming
language. We have some set functions like flirting,
going to movies together, making long conversations on
phone and then try to fit all functions to the
candidate we like.
Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented
programming approach. We first fix the candidate and
then try to implement functions on her. The main
object is fixed and various functions are added to
supplement the main program. The functions can be
added or deleted.
------------ --------- -
Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as
client requirements rises with time thus it is a
dynamic system and difficult to maintain.
Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so
use of waterfall model is possible.
------------ --------- -
Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware
called parents are not responding.
Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.
------------ --------- -
Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are
responsible for implementation and execution of
PROJECT- married life.
Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project
leader parents so they are responsible for successful
execution of project Married life.
------------ --------- -
Love Marriage: Client expectations include exciting
feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.
Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in
the SRS as required features.
------------ --------- -
Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try
before you Buy.
Arranged Marriage: Product is sold as it is where it
is basis. Product once sold will not be taken back.

I call "YOU" friend Becoz......

Because you are always there for me.

Because I feel comfortable around you.

Because you actually hear what I say.

Because you bring out the best in me.

Because you accept me for who I am.

Because you are not afraid to tell it like it is.

Because you make me smile.

Because you are down to earth.

Because you make me feel loved.

Because we have so much fun together..

I hope you call "ME"friend

hi hows this

rain love

love

wow

Interview Questions ... Awesum

Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

Q.If it took

Lets have Fun!

Women are like Elephants.
I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one. -- W.C. Fields

Guys are like dogs.
They keep coming back.
Ladies are like cats.
Yell at a cat one time...they' re gone. -- Lenny Bruce

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon. -- Tim Allen

With my wife I don't get no respect.
I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me. -- Rodney Dangerfield

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine:
We were both crazy about girls. -- Groucho Marx

At 38 years, I finally got me the woman that said those six words I wanted all my life to hear: 'My dad owns a liquor store.' -- Mark Klein

Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women very happy? -- Benny Hill

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it.
I said, 'Thyroid problem?' -- Emo Philips

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects. -- Les Dawson

A girl phoned me the other day and said ...
Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home. -- Rodney Dangerfield

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door,
who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always (Always Right).

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

WANNA FRIENDSHIP WITH

grat indian

Smart Indian's

An Indian walks into a New York City bank and asks to see the loan
officer.
He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and
needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some
kind of security for such a loan, so the man hands over the keys of a new
Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank.
Everything is checked out,and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for
the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and
parks it there. Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the
interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business,
and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that
u are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Indian replied ,"Where else in New York can I park my car for two
weeks

Going to Propose a Girl ?

Here are the top most reply of a girl, when you propose her...

1) Nahi........ ......... ???

2) Chiiiii..... Kitne gande vichar hain tumhare..... ..

3) Maine tumhe sirf ek acche dost ki nazar se dekha hai ....

4) Mera pehle se ek boyfrnd hai....

5) Main in baton pe vishwas nahi karti, apne padhai pe dhyaan lagao...

6) tum abhi tak mujhe jaante kahan ho ?Yeh shayad infatuation hai....

7) Tumhara bank balance kitna hai…??

8) Magar last year to Maine tumhe raakhi baandhi thi ..hai naa..bhaiyya. .??

9) Mein abhi is relation ke liye mentally prepared nahi hoo....

10) Mein apne dady se pooch ke tumhe kaal answer karu…??

11) Itni is baat kehne ke liye itni der lagaa di??

12) Ye donon ke dil me hai na, to phir kya kehna!!

13) Sorry

14) "……Apna chehra kabhi aayine me dekha hai….. L…………………………… "

15) "Main toh tumhe apna Bhai maanati hu"

16) "Yes .. I too like you … (but hope you don't cheat on me ) " … (Which we guys most oftenly do )

17) Phele kyon nahi bataya AB tum late ho gaye ..

18) Tum agar pehle mile hote to sochti.

19) Tumhari himmat kaise hui mere baare mein aisa sochne ki… (probably followed by a slap)

20) Girl: mujhe sochna ka wakt do…

Guy: kitna wakt???(with hope)

Girl: saat janam

21) Mai ek shaadi shuda ladki hu ;-)

22) Mein tumhare chotte bhai se pyaar karti hoon…

23) Now that's a real tragedy….

Girl: Hee hee ……hee hee hee…..hee ….hee……hee……

Hee hee ……hee hee hee…..hee ….hee……hee……

24) Boy: I love U!

Gal: I don't think ABT all this before marriage.

25) Keep loving I don't care.

26) Tum mere liye kya kar sakte ho…

27) Kaun as number hai mera tumhare proposals ki history mein. Ha ha ha ha….

28) tumhe is nazar se kabhi dekha nahi

29) tumhare barre mein kabhi aisa socha nahi

30) mummy se pooch kar bataungi

31) mere bhaiyya se baat kar lo , who hi tumhe samajhayenge

32) Knyo, Tina NE "No" bola?

33) Lekin tum to Mina ke piche pade the, Kya usne thappad mara?

34) Kitne time ke liye -???

35) Worst one-- Jo bhi bolna hai jaldi bolo mera beta school se aata hoga..

36) Thanks. I love you, too.

37) Boy :- Sonya, I love U…..

Gal :- Sorry , Next 3 Months tak Waiting List chal rahi hai….

38) "What?"

39) "Let's just stay away from this"

40) My friend in college got one classic reply … "I THINK I'M ENGAGED"

41) "I think, I will have better options in future ..."

42)Mujhe tumse is baare mein koi baat nahi karni, then she starts ignoring, phir bhi nahi sudhare then she threatens via some common friends.

43) My Boy friend is very short Tempered. Beware of it.

44) like you as a friend but I never thought about us like this…cant we be just good friends for ever

45) Actually my younger sis likes you a lot. ..

46) My mummy does not like your family (if the family knows each other.) ..

47) "Why me?..Tumne mere meih essa kya dekha?..."she wants you to list down all the Good qualities that you even might have not seen in her. ...

48) SLAP !! ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS....it is said ..

49)hehe I didn't expect that from you....

50)nice joke ...

51)tum ladke kuchh or nahi soch sakte jaha ladki dekhi fisal gaye.....

52)achha tum bhi meine socha sirf harsh,nikhil, ravi, etc etc ko hi mujhme interest hai ..... And then walks on.......... ...

53)tumhe to purpose karna bhi nahi aata.... Peheli bari hai kya?? Koi baat nahi mein batati Hun ???...

girls

Here are a few reasons why guys like girls:

1.
They will always smell good
even if its just shampoo

2.
The way their heads always
find the right spot on our shoulder

3.
How cute they look when they sleep

4.
The ease in which they fit into our arms

5.
The way they kiss you and
all of a sudden everything
is right in the world

6.
How cute they are when they eat

7.
The way they take hours
to get dressed
but in the end
it makes it all worth while

8.
Because they are always
warm even when its minus 30 outside

9.
The way they look good
no matter what they wear

10.
The way they fish for compliments
even though you both know that you
think she's the most
beautiful thing on this earth

11.
How cute they are when they argue

12.
The way her hand always finds yours

13.
The way they smile

14.
The way you feel
when you see their name
on the call ID
after you just had a big fight

15.
The way she says
"lets not fight anymore"
even though you know that
an hour later....

16.
The way they kiss when
you do something nice for them

17.
The way they kiss you
when you say
"I love you"

18.
Actually ...
just the way they kiss you...

19.
The way they fall into your arms
when they cry

20.
Then the way they apologize
for crying over something that silly

21.
The way they hit you
and expect it to hurt

22.
Then the way they apologize
when it does hurt.
(even though we don't admit it)!

23.
The way they say
"I miss you"

24.
The way you miss them

25.
The way their tears
make you want to
change the world
so that it
doesn't hurt her anymore.....
Yet regardless
if you love them,
hate them,
wish they would die
or
know that you would die
without them ...
it matters not.
Because once in your life,
whatever they were to the world
they become everything to you.
When you look them in the eyes,
traveling to
the depths of their souls
and
yo! u say a million things
without trace of a sound,
you know that your own life
is inevitable consumed
within the rhythmic beatings
of her very heart.
We love them for a million reasons,
No paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind
but of the heart.
A feeling.
Only felt.

True Friendship

True friendship isn't seen with the eyes,
its felt with the heart,
when there is trust,
understanding,
secrets,
loyalty, and sharing . . .

Friendship is a feeling ,
very rarely found in life,
but when it is found ,
it has profound impact one's well-being,
strength and character.

A true friendship does not need elaborate gifts
or
spectacular events in order to be valuable or valued.

To ensure long-lasting quality and satisfaction,
a friendship only needs certain key ingredients:
1. Undying loyalty,
2. unmatched understanding,
3. unsurpassed trust,
4. deep and soulful secrets,
5. and endless sharing.

These ingredients, mixed with personality and a sense of humor,
can make a friendship last a lifetime.
This is just a thank you, my friends,
for all the wonderful and colorful ingredients you've brought to